grapesky

Hello 2008!

Resolved:

1. Eat Less
2. Exercise More
3. Read More
4. Listen More
5. Write More
6. Photograph More

Miracles

“For Glory means good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgement, and welcome into the heart of things. The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last.”

–C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Seeing the door opening, after a long time of knocking, is almost unbelievable, but it it opening.

Interviews

I interviewed with a company today, that will remain nameless, but I am curious as to whether they did a search for me on the internet. I sure hope they did, because I don’t know if I’d want the job unless they had done their homework.

Hiring managers should definately “google” or as some might be pressured into saying “windows live” potential employees.

I will say that I didn’t feel too nervous while I was interviewing, until the last interview. And I am not sure why. Maybe because I felt like this guy would actually be someone that I would work with on a daily basis while all the other people weren’t.

And I am not sure if I want the job yet either, but I want to see what kind of offer I get…that is, if I get one at all.

And I found that I sweat a lot in interviews. Good thing I wore a jacket.

is it just a part of human nature to want to belong somewhere?

vision, direction, purpose is all very important, but without relationships, people, belonging, love…it seems pretty pointless.

yet, when someone or someones get too close, often that’s when the defenses come up, in whatever your form of your favorite metaphor that may be: a wall, thorns, monster trucks..

we want (i want) to belong and yet, we isolate (i isolate) ourselves (myself). odd. yes, we are odd creatures. very odd indeed.

An Admission

I have a bad habit of leaving things in my pocket when I do my laundry. I am amazed sometimes at the things I find. Money is often the number one find, more than I thought I had. Tonight I found my winnings from the latest challenge at work. I also often find my chapstick, which shockingly, often survives. I suppose that is because I usually wash cold. Lists, movie stubs and tissue do not fare as well, though some movie stubs do ok. Pens=disaster. I think that perhaps I should learn to check pockets before I get married and have kids. I wouldn’t want to wash some of the things I carried in my pockets when I was a kid: frogs, Jello packets, rocks, and notes from friends.

Probably not so good on the washer.

Monday Musing

What, if anything, am I leaving behind? Am I just drifitng through life, a wanderer, with no destination? There is nothing with wandering, just as long as there is a destination, a place to end. As Bilbo Baggins wrote about Strider, “Not all who wander are lost.” At the end, what will be left of my life, my few years here on earth?

Sometimes, I wonder what would happen to my blog if I all of a sudden died or went into a coma. How long would my words stay frozen here on the internet. Would Blogger turn off my account after a certain time? Or would my blog just stay up indefinately?

On another note, I really like sitting in front of my fire, the wood crackling nicely, with Sigur Ros playing in the background. Even though my house will smell like a campfire afterwards. (The wood is still a bit damp).

Perspective

33 years. Church tradition tells me that this is when Christ died on the cross, the completion of his ministry on earth. Birth, Death, Resurrection.

Makes me think, have I completed anything? In so many ways, it feels like life is just starting for me. I have done a lot in some sense: traveled all over the world, completed a lot of years of school, lived in lots of different places, with lots of different people, worked a variety of jobs, and met some real and tangible goals.

Then there are the things I haven’t done such as: gotten married, had children, visited Kenya, Ireland, Prague, South Africa, written a book, won the Pulitzer Prize, flown to the moon and back.

I got a birthday card this year that says “barn’s burnt down; now i can see the moon”

It is about vision, about what I see.

So here are a few self-concious thoughts…

For me the past ten years or so in the area of relationships have looked like this:

boys=disappointment

I was reading some lists I made a while ago, you know the kind that girls make about “The Man of My Dreams” and so on. I wonder if I have become too picky or too worried about finding the perfect person. There is no perfect person. I am not perfect.

But then, I also know that I am too easily persuaded. I am a bit of a pushover. And I’ve made some bad choices in the past.

Balance.

Ok, here are the facts: I like male people and want to marry one someday. I have some friends who have made some excellent matches, so I know that it is possible. And then there is the all important factor of “the Sovreignty of God” or FATE, as some people like to call it.

So, really there is no answer. At least not yet. Or maybe that is the answer.

Stop philosophizing and wondering, and enjoy living life NOW.

It’s called Adventure. Joy. Life.